My Autistic Perspective on Embracing my Autism
There's no one I'd rather be than me.
"When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us." - Bill, Kill Bill: Volume 2
The above Quentin Tarantino quote really resonates with me. As with the Man of Steel, I wore an unassuming disguise to blend in with society. For years, I hid the quirks of my autism by wearing this proverbial business suit of faux normalcy, even though doing so was a detriment to my mental health and overall wellbeing. I refrained from disclosing my autism to receive accommodations or discussing my special needs with anyone outside my nuclear family. I worried that "normal" people would consider me "weird"; that they'd either pity or look down on me, and that I would never make friends nor find a girlfriend if anybody discovered my autism.
Then, one day, something miraculous happened; I woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw nothing wrong with my reflection. I then said, "screw it", removed my proverbial business suit of faux normalcy, and stopped hiding the real me. I finally began opening up about my autism, the challenges of living with a learning disability, the annoying stereotypes and hurtful slurs, what it feels like to be bullied, etc. I stopped worrying about what "normal" people would think of me or trying to please others in hopes of making friends or finding a girlfriend. As with Frankenstein's monster, I still desire such relationships and companionship, but only if potential relationships and companionship are genuine and not based on me having to live a lie. I've now learned the value of being true to myself, embracing the quirks of my autism, and taking pride in my personal growth, perseverance, and achievements. There's real strength and power in that.
I love having my own website as well as the freedom to express myself and embrace my uniqueness, quirks, and eccentricities. Through my website, I'm now surrounded by others like me; those who neither fit the mold of "normalcy" nor care one bit. The people I follow are equally open about themselves and fully embrace their uniqueness, quirks, and eccentricities. Sometimes, normal is boring and it's fun to be different.
In closing, the old me would've been terrified to share any of his works from his website with his friends and family via social media. The new me, on the other hand, enjoys sharing links and works with his audience, and doesn't worry one bit about being considered "different". He sleeps well at night and doesn't fear what his friends or family may think, because he's the same quiet guy they've always known, but now free to be himself. Until next time, love, peace, and chicken grease.