Quick Switch Reviews
It's-a-me...and Mario! Woo-hoo!
"My body is ready!" - Reggie Fils-Aimé, President of Nintendo of America (2006-2019)
I love my Switch. It's my portable arcade and autistic security blanket, helping me through all manner of stressful situations over the years; the pandemic, elections, hotel stays, flights, house guests, weddings, and prolonged viruses. I've had it for as long as Link slumbered in the Temple of Time, so it's finally run out of space. As I must now "archive" older games to make room for newer ones, I thought I might as well write mini reviews along the way, which I'm posting below in reverse-chronological order. I'll update this page as I beat and/or archive more games on my Switch...or until I get a Switch 2 to transfer everything onto, haha. Game on!
Arcade Archives: Double Dragon II: The Revenge, Technōs Japan, 1988
Not only does Double Dragon II: The Revenge suffer from all the same issues that plagued its predecessor, it further complicates matters by designating separate buttons for attacking enemies from in front and behind, which is disorienting and difficult to adapt to. As if the cheap enemies from the original weren't bad enough, the new ones are far more frustrating to deal with. Again, leave this one in the past and stick with the beat 'em ups that improved upon the formula.
Completed with a high score of 19300 and archived on July 12, 2025.
Arcade Archives: Double Dragon, Technōs Japan, 1987
While Double Dragon is a pioneer of the beat 'em up genre, it hasn't aged well, being plagued with input delay, slowdown, inescapable booby traps, and cheap enemies who literally kick you while you're down. Unlike later beat 'em ups, there are no screen-clearing attacks nor health pick-ups, and your high score resets to zero with each continue, rendering the pursuit of points pointless. Ultimately, Double Dragon walked so other beat 'em ups could run. Play those instead.
Completed with a high score of 61210 and archived on July 12, 2025.
Fun fact: It's possible to trick Abobo into suplexing you onto Machine Gun Willy's balcony, where you can then toss him off to begin the final battle earlier than intended.
Sega Ages: Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sega, 1992
There's not much I can add to Sonic's initial sequel that isn't already widely known. In terms of bonus content, this version has save states, the anachronistic Drop Dash, and Knuckles the Echidna. Best of all, it's got a cool unlockable mode that starts you off with all seven Chaos Emeralds and fifty rings, allowing you to transform into Super Sonic without completing those awful pseudo-3D half-pipe levels. This port pairs well with chili dogs and onion rings!
Completed Sonic the Hedgehog 2 with all seven Chaos Emeralds on May 15, 2025. Completed Knuckles in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 on May 17, 2025 (refused to suffer through those dreadful half-pipe "Special Stages" again).
Sega Ages: OutRun, Sega, 1986
A "racing" game that isn't about racing?!? It's true! There are no other drivers vying for first place. Instead, you cruise down the highway in a Ferrari Testarossa, swerving around traffic and navigating tight turns in hopes of passing several checkpoints that extend your timer. Along the way, you'll come across various forks in the road that lead you on different scenic routes through the game. A real wild ride!
Completed with a high score of 46952180 on May 9, 2025.
Sega Ages: Sonic the Hedgehog, Sega, 1991
What can I possibly say about Sonic's debut appearance that isn't already common knowledge? Well, I guess it's worth noting that the original revolves more around traditional platforming than speed. As for bonus content, this port includes save states and the anachronistic Spin and Drop Dashes from later entries. Way past cool!
Completed with all six Chaos Emeralds on May 8, 2025.
Sega Ages: Alex Kidd in Miracle World, Sega, 1986
Before Sonic the Hedgehog, there was Alex Kidd, Sega's original mascot from 1986 to 1991. Unlike his speedy blue successor, Alex doesn't jump or spin into his foes; he punches and challenges them to matches of "Rock, Paper, Scissors". He also dies in a single hit, which makes the inclusion of save states and a rewind button welcome additions. This was the first video game I ever owned, so it holds a special place in my heart.
Completed on April 17, 2025.
Fun fact: My uncle mastered this game back in the day, and I have fond childhood memories of watching him beat it.
Arcade Archives: VS. Super Mario Bros., Nintendo, 1986
If your body is ready...for a challenge, expose it to Mario's arcade game. Not the one set in the sewers of Brooklyn, New York. The one set in the Mushroom Kingdom that combines levels from both Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels. Its difficulty lies somewhere between those two, so expect the unexpected. Mama mia!
Completed with a high score of 7739700 on April 13, 2025.
Fun fact: I'm ranked #64 out of 100 on the online leaderboard, which is quite fitting, given my love for the N64.
ACA Neo Geo: Metal Slug 4, SNK, 2002
I'm skipping straight to the fourth entry in this series, as I've yet to find the second or third installments on sale. No matter, though, as the gameplay remains the same across the board. As such, you can expect the same stress-relieving action, but now with more playable characters. Booyah!
Completed with a high score of 1066612 and archived on April 5, 2025.
ACA Neo Geo: Metal Slug, SNK, 1996
Should you desire a fun way to de-stress, this run and gun platformer has got you covered. While comparable in difficulty to other games in the genre, such as Contra or Gunstar Heroes, the inclusion of infinite continues makes this particular title accessible to any gamer, regardless of their skill level. I especially dig the wacky art style reminiscent of the animated segments in The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Ten-hut!
Completed with a high score of 413931 and archived on April 5, 2025.
Inside, Playdead, 2016
This "spiritual successor" to Limbo expands and improves upon the mechanics and gameplay of its predecessor, adding underwater and mind control segments to the mix, along with a top secret alternate ending for those adventurous enough to seek it out. Notably, this game bears a striking resemblance to Éric Chahi's cinematic platformer, Another World, both visually and tonally. Again, short but sweet!
Completed with regular ending on March 17, 2025. Completed with alternate ending and archived on March 22, 2025.
Limbo, Playdead, 2010
Take a cinematic platformer like Jordan Mechner's Prince of Persia, give it a new coat of paint reminiscent of Stephen Gammell's illustrations from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and this is the result. As is common with the genre, progress is made via trial and error, dying, retrying, and thinking outside the box to overcome all manner of hazards and puzzles. Thankfully, there are a generous amount of checkpoints and autosaves to mitigate the frustration. Short but sweet!
Completed and archived on March 9, 2025.
Yeah Yeah Beebiss II, Rigg'd Games, 2022
YouTuber, John Riggs, of Yakima, Washington ("at your service!") presents a "sequel" to an anonymous 1989 mail-order Famicom import title that nobody seems to have ever ordered. While the original remains shrouded in mystery, the "sequel" tasks one or two players with clearing 100 single-screen levels of enemies before time runs out, à la Mario Bros. or Bubble Bobble. While fun, the lack of passwords or saves are tough pills to swallow, given the game's absurd length.
Archived with an unsavable high score of 003076 on January 19, 2025.
Popeye, Sabec, 2021
No, this isn't a port of the Nintendo arcade game of the same name, but rather a lazily designed 3D "remake". While both versions revolve around collecting scattered hearts thrown from a loft by Olive Oyl and avoiding Bluto long enough to find cans of spinach to clobber him with, the arcade original blows this shovelware "remake" out of the water. Aarrgh!
Archived with a high score of 27550 on January 19, 2025.
Goat Simulator: The GOATY, Coffee Stain Studios, 2014
To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, this is, "a video game about nothing." You run amok through an open world 3D environment, wreaking havoc and headbutting hapless humans. That's it. No other objectives, challenges, or ways to win or lose. While a fun way to blow off some steam, the novelty wears off fast. Bah!
Archived on January 19, 2025.
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Page created on Wednesday, July 2, 2025.