My Moviegoer Perspective on Movies That Never Needed Sequels or Prequels (But Got Them, Anyway) - Part II
Um, why?
"We all know the dangers of sequels. Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place too often, and I think you've got to move beyond it, go the extra mile." - Colin Firth
And we're back with an unnecessary sequel to an article about unnecessary sequels/prequels! I should point out that I won't be covering every individual sequel/prequel in a given series, as it would take too long to do so. Also, please keep in mind these critiques are just my personal opinions and aren't intended as attacks against anybody who enjoys such sequels. This is all in good fun. Well, then, ready? All right, let's go...
The Land Before Time, 1988
Kicking things off with another Don Bluth classic, 1988's The Land Before Time chronicles the many perils faced by dinosaur hatchlings, Littlefoot, Cera, Ducky, Petrie, and Spike, following their separation from their respective herds in the aftermath of a massive earthquake. Agreeing to hold on together for their mutual survival, the youngsters, led by Littlefoot, traverse a desolate prehistoric landscape, straight out of Fantasia, in search of the mythical Great Valley, the fabled paradise their herbivorous herds were heading for. Unfortunately, Cera constantly butts heads with Littlefoot, and the infighting between them proves to be as dangerous for the entire group as the carnivorous Sharptooth stalking them. Eventually, the two resolve their differences and work together with the others to make Sharptooth extinct. Shortly thereafter, the hatchlings find the entrance to the Great Valley, where they're finally reunited with their rejoiceful herds.
Now, the sequels...
The narrator's closing line in the original film perfectly sums up why The Land Before never needed 30+ straight-to-video cash grab sequels; "And they all grew up together in the valley, generation upon generation, each passing on to the next, the tale of their ancestors' journey to the valley long ago." 'Nuff said. Instead of countless bargain bin musicals of subpar quality, I would've much preferred Don Bluth's original 80-minute director's cut, which is most likely truly lost media at this point, sadly.
Men in Black, 1997
Next up is 1997's Men in Black, which focuses on a super secret, secret US government agency known as the MIB (Men in Black), tasked with investigating threats of an extraterrestrial nature. Following the retirement of the elderly Agent D, his former partner, Agent K, recruits a young NYPD detective to serve as the recent retiree's replacement, the newly-christened, Agent J. Together, the veteran and rookie work together to stop an evil intergalactic cockroach, disguised in the ill-fitting skin of a dead farmer. After successfully exterminating the cockroach, Agent K reveals he wasn't training Agent J to become his new partner, but rather, his replacement. After decades of loyal service in the MIB, Agent K reveals he's ready to retire, desiring to have his memories as an agent wiped so he can finally return home to his loving wife who believes him comatose. Agent J emotionally obliges his mentor's request, and is subsequently partnered with his love-interest, Agent L. Thus, the story comes full-circle...with the potential for plenty of sequels (no arguments, there).
Now, the sequels...
In this example, my issue isn't with film receiving sequels, but rather the way these sequels were handled. Rather than following the further adventures of Agents J and L, the initial sequel opts to reveal the latter unexpectedly retired at some point between 1997 and 2002. As a result, Agent J is now tasked with pulling Agent K out of retirement, forcibly restoring the memories the retiree never wanted back. This decision on the filmmakers' parts ruins the emotional impact of the original flick's satisfying conclusion, in my opinion. The filmmakers attempt to lessen the blow of stripping Agent K of his happy ending by explaining his wife subsequently divorced him. Honestly, I feel this further adds insult to injury for Agent K. I feel it would've made much more sense, from a narrative standpoint, to keep Agent L in the picture and carry on from there. I have nothing further to add on the other sequels.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding, 2002
Moving on, we have 2002's My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which follows a journey of personal growth and discovery for young Greek-American, Toula Portokalos, after she decides to break free from the shackles of her overbearing Greek restaurateur family and start living life for herself. Among these changes include a makeover, college diploma, the purchase of a travel agency, and her scandalous decision to date a non-Greek lad (the horror, the horror!), Ian Miller. After becoming engaged, the remainder of the film revolves around the challenges the intercultural couple face while planning their wedding, a relatable topic for many intercultural couples out there, I'm sure. Being a lighthearted romantic comedy, much of the humour revolves around Ian's, fish out of water status amongst Toula's boisterous and overly patriotic Greek relatives. It's a simple, feel-good romantic comedy, grounded in reality. As far as I can tell, there's zero narrative reason to extend this storyline beyond a one-and-done affair.
Now, the sequels...
I'm guessing the demand for a Big Fat Greek Franchise was massive amongst moviegoers, as the film received not one, but two sequels, all of which were spaced many years apart from each other. As mentioned, I don't feel these sequels were necessary and consider their existence being akin to a scenario of the late John Hughes making a sequel to 1984's Sixteen Candles in 2000, titled Thirty-Two Candles. Perhaps, it would've made sense if these sequels were titled My Big Fat Greek Divorce, My Big Fat Greek Second Marriage, and Four Big Fat Greek Weddings and a Greek Orthodox Funeral. Such sequels certainly would've piqued my curiosity...
Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981
My favourite bit of cinematic storytelling in 1981's Raiders of the Lost Ark is the gradual build up of tension preceding the Ark of the Covenant's onscreen appearance. This begins with the initially atheist Indy glancing at an eerie illustration of the Ark in a book, depicting its destructive supernatural powers, which he dismisses as nothing more than "superstitious hocus-pocus". Then, an ethereal gust of wind suddenly blows through a Cairo apartment while Indy, Sallah, and an Imam discuss the Ark. This is further followed by ominous storm clouds swirling in the skies directly above the Well of Souls, the Ark's resting place, complete with thunder and lightning, as Indy's crew unearth the chamber's hidden entrance beneath the desert sands. Such subtle yet spooky moments demonstrate that filmmakers can tell good ghost stories without relying solely on cheap jump scares.
Now, the prequel...
While I won't deny Raiders of the Lost Ark is extremely well-suited for sequels and prequels, given that it pays homage to old-timey adventure serials, I don't think any of the follow-ups hold a candle to the original. However, my critique actually centres around a discrepancy in the lone prequel, 1984's Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, arguably the most controversial entry in the entire series for its offensive stereotypes of women and Indian culture, though that's a topic worthy of its own article. For now, let's focus on the continuity error. Set one year earlier, the prequel exposes Indy to a supernatural threat in India. Therefore, why would he be an atheist in Raiders of the Lost Ark, who regards the paranormal as "superstitious hocus-pocus", given his recent experience with the occult? Had the prequel instead been a sequel, this discrepancy would've never existed. This tends to be a recurring issue with prequels in general.
Thanks for reading and stayed tuned for more unnecessary sequels! Do you have any thoughts on this post? If so, feel free to reach out by leaving a comment, dropping me a line, or signing my guestbook to share your opinions on this or any other topic. Also, feel free to press the "like" button if you enjoyed this post, as "likes" help me gauge audience interest in the content I post. After all, I don't want to bore anyone, ha-ha. Until next time, love, peace, and chicken grease!
Posted in "Nerd Alert" on Tuesday, February 11, 2025.