The Redirect Call of Coldthulhu: My Autistic Perspective on Sick Travellers who Infect and Affect Those Around Them
He's back...
"Your love is like bad medicine. Bad medicine is what I need. Oh, oh, oh, shake it up, just like bad medicine. There ain't no doctor that can cure my disease." - Bon Jovi, Bad Medicine
One of my biggest travel concerns prior to departing for BC to attend my younger cousin's wedding was the potential risk of getting sick while on the West Coast. During my previous family trip to Ottawa last autumn, my parents and I had the displeasure of meeting Coldthulhu, the cold of cosmic proportions. Referring to Coldthulhu as a "cold" would be akin to describing a Zeppelin as a "blimp"; while similar in overall appearance, one is astronomically grander than the other. Coldthulhu lived rent-free in our bodies for months, so I had zero interest in ever running into him again. While we were lucky enough to avoid Coldthulhu in BC, our luck ran out while transferring flights in Calgary. There, waiting for the same flight as us, was that coughing man I briefly mentioned in my prior post; the one who gave the young autistic girl sitting next to him an anxiety attack with his nonstop coughing.
I'll never forget this man; his face red as a tomato, coughing open-mouthed in every direction, including on other passengers and their food, refusing to cover his mouth with a Kleenex, facemask, or his sleeve. This walking biohazard conjured images of Saint John's Horseman of Pestilence or Edgar Allan Poe's Red Death. A truly terrifying figure for an autistic germophobe like me to behold. This was the point when I began to sweat. At the time, I remained hopeful he'd be seated far from us on the plane, but as you already know, he sat directly across from us, even coughing directly into my father's face at one point. A jovial flight attendant jokingly referred to him as her, "little ray of sunshine," on account of how red his face was. Considering the number of people he "introduced" to Coldthulhu aboard that flight, I doubt she's laughing now.
A few days later, my father began resembling the man from the plane, both in the reddening of his face and his incessant coughing fits. I now knew I was screwed, so I braced myself for what would surely come for me: the redirect call of Coldthulhu (thankfully, my mother missed his call this time around). It was every bit as horrid as I remembered; the constant dizziness and fatigue, the fiery sore throat, the annoying Donald Duck voice, the sleepless nights, the plugged ears, and the God-awful coughing fits that make me feel as though my jaw will dislocate and my ribcage will implode. While the red-faced airline passenger and Coldthulhu may have robbed me of my abilities to talk and laugh ("laughter" results in further excruciating coughing fits), they haven't robbed me of my voice or sense of humour, both of which are helping me remain sane several days into Coldthulhu's second visit in less than a year. I guess I'll celebrate Festivus early this year and air my grievances in June rather than December...
There are a great many things that really push my buttons about the red-faced man, Coldthulhu, and the airline. Firstly, why did that horrid individual insist on travelling with the plague packed in his carry-on? There's no way I'm going anywhere right now, as I refuse to forcibly pass my suffering onto others. This guy looked and sounded like he was on death's door, ready to meet his Maker. He should've been quarantined in a hospital emergency room, not spewing the infected contents of his lungs onto people's faces and food.
For all we know, the red-faced man might've been carrying the next mutation of COVID onto the plane. There's no excuse for such behaviour. On his way home? Cancel and go to the nearest hospital (we have free healthcare in Canada). On his vacation? Reschedule and quarantine at home. On a business trip? Cancel and get a doctor's note. The fact that guy was even allowed to board the plane in such an infected state was truly mindboggling. Airlines are known to bar entry to anyone they deem a flight risk. There are countless YouTube videos of drunk and disorderly passengers being forcibly removed from flights by police officers on account of the risk they pose to other passengers once airborne. If an intoxicated individual is considered a flight risk, shouldn't the red-faced, coughing, personification of the plague be considered one as well?
This guy made no effort to conceal how sick he was, yet the airline boarded him anyway, and didn't even ask him to wear a facemask or cover his mouth. Why wasn't this guy escorted out of the airport by security and placed in an ambulance to the nearest hospital to be tested, treated, and quarantined? Didn't the countless lives lost during the Pandemic, including some of our own loved ones, teach us anything? If airlines are totally comfortable charging obese passengers for an extra seat and cool with calling the cops on drunk passengers, surely, they shouldn't have an issue with protecting their passengers, flight attendants, and pilots from a walking biohazard, right?
All throughout the pandemic, my parents and I never once got sick. Now that the pandemic's "over", my father and I have been caught by Coldthulhu twice in under a year, both times while travelling within Canada, which was once strict with its health and safety guidelines. It seems nobody is careful, anymore; public hand sanitizer dispensers are no longer refilled, standing a specific distance from others is no longer enforced, and those who are clearly sick are no longer required to self-quarantine at home or wear facemasks when out in public.
All those who besieged Ottawa a few years back, shouting "Freedom!" like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, got their way in the end. The "freedom" to get sick and make others sick. "Yay!" for them, I guess? All I know is, I never want to receive another call from Coldthulhu ever again. Look, regardless of your post-pandemic political beliefs, your personal comfort shouldn't override the welfare of others. If I'd been this sick prior to my younger cousin's wedding, I would've cancelled the trip altogether and sent her and my cousin-in-law a gift and an apology. I'd never jeopardize the welfare of others for my own happiness.
I'm not sure what brought the red-faced man to the Calgary airport that day, but whatever his reasons for boarding that flight, he could've and should've tried to prevent exposing countless people to his germs. I also feel the airport and/or airline staff should've stepped up and either asked him to cover up his cough or offered to call him an ambulance to a hospital for testing. The fact that this guy was selfish enough to fly, without making any effort to protect those around him, and that the airline seemingly had no issue with boarding him and allowing him to cough on everyone, is deeply troubling to me. With that, it's back to Coldthulhu's dungeon of discomforts for me. Take care and, if you happen to see a red-faced guy coughing on everyone, shield your face, turn around, and run as fast as you can.
Do you have any thoughts on this post? If so, feel free to reach out by leaving a comment, dropping me a line, or signing my guestbook to share your opinions on this or any other topic. Also, feel free to press the "like" button if you enjoyed this post, as "likes" help me gauge audience interest in the content I post. After all, I don't want to bore anyone, ha-ha. Until next time, love, peace, and chicken grease!
Posted in "Autistic Perspectives" on Tuesday, June 17, 2025.