My Autistic Perspective on Online Interactivity
My spirit animal.
"Er...Uh...Hmm...How to say...Please call...Outside..." - Grandpa Ulrira, The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX
In The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX, there's a shy old man named Grandpa Ulrira, who clearly suffers from social anxieties, as attempting to talk to him in person results in the above quote. However, upon following Ulrira's cryptic instructions and calling him from one of the many telephone booths scattered around Koholint Island, his true personality shines through, revealing himself to be a lively chatterbox when interacted with from a distance. The above pic is from a humorous in-game cutscene in which the Photographer Mouse discreetly snaps a photo exposing Ulrira's boisterous true persona.
I feel a real affinity with Ulrira, as I, too, am quiet, shy, and socially anxious when talking to others face-to-face, yet my true personality is on full display via emails, texts, and my website. However, unlike Ulrira, my social anxieties also extend to the telephone and other long-distance forms of communication. While most of my social anxieties are triggered when I'm out and about, a few manage to penetrate the walls of my sanctum sanctorum. These tend to manifest whenever I'm forced to engage in real-time communication from home.
For example, as a kid, I always dreaded calling my friends over the landline, as doing so meant a parent or sibling might answer the phone, and they weren't always in the best of moods. On a similar note, an employment agency once placed me in a telemarketing call centre, which was the shortest job I'd ever had, quitting that same day.
Another form of real-time communication I steer clear of is online gaming. I've never been into first-person shooter war games, apart from Wolfenstein 3D, and have zero interest in being trash talked to, via headset, by foul-mouthed 10-year-olds looking to "pwn" a "n00b" like me (do the cool kids still use such lingo?).
I've also never been comfortable communicating with strangers online in real-time, such as via America Online-style chat rooms or video calls, for fear of unwittingly divulging too much personal information. As a result of this, seeking love online never panned out for me. Speaking of video calls, I seldom reach out to family and friends via such apps, as I fear I might bother them or interrupt whatever they were doing.
While not necessarily a form of "real-time communication", posting videos of myself on YouTube would prove quite difficult, given my discomfort whenever hearing my own recorded voice, which is totally different from the "voice" I hear when talking. I guess this means I won't be earning ad revenue or sponsorships to try to sell you body spray, VPN subscriptions, cereal, or TV dinners with enclosed 20%-off promo codes, huh? All kidding aside, even here on Neocities, where I'm totally comfortable revealing the real me, I still experience my fair share of social anxieties.
For example, I often find myself questioning whether my content may be "too out there" for others to enjoy or if my website's simple design may turn off potential new followers. I also get anxious at the prospect of messaging other webmasters/mistresses. In any case, I'm fully aware these insecurities and self-doubts are simply my social anxieties trying to lead me astray. I'm proud of my website's appearance and the content I produce. I understand that people have real lives beyond their anonymous presence on Neocities, with priorities such as school, work, family life, etc. I guess, rather than stewing in my anxieties' cauldron of self-doubt, I need to follow Ulrira's example and find my own metaphorical telephone booth from which to liberate myself from these fears and feelings of inadequacy?
In closing, I'm so grateful to every single one of my followers, viewers, readers, and visitors. I love that there's an active autistic community on Neocities, with each of us demonstrating our neurodiversity via discussing our strengths and challenges, alike. Inspired by some of the personal stories I've read on here, I've recently began pushing myself outside my autistic comfort zone by commenting on a few Neocities posts, so if you've unexpectedly received such a comment from me, rest assured it's not a scammer impersonating me, haha. Thanks for reading!
Do you have any thoughts on this post? If so, feel free to reach out by leaving a comment, dropping me a line, or signing my guestbook to share your opinions on this or any other topic. Also, feel free to press the "like" button if you enjoyed this post, as "likes" help me gauge audience interest in the content I post. After all, I don't want to bore anyone, ha-ha. Until next time, love, peace, and chicken grease!
Posted in "Autistic Perspectives" on Wednesday, May 21, 2025.