My Autistic Perspective on Online Social Anxieties
Press the button, experience self-doubt.
"But, oh, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood." - Nina Simone
As many within the autistic community can attest, the social anxieties tethered to our shared disability aren't singular in nature but are as broad and diverse as each of ourselves, manifesting in many forms. While some of us may have no issues playing on sports teams or working with the public, others within our community may find such prospective activities or jobs too stressful to partake in. These social anxieties apply to both the real and online worlds.
While online methods of communication and artistic expression can alleviate the anxieties of face-to-face interactions, cyberspace is not without its own unique challenges. For example, reading people's moods and emotions can be trickier online due to the lack of social cues, like body language, facial expressions, or tone of voice. There have been times when I'd read an email or comment directed at me, and couldn't tell whether the writer was being sincere, sarcastic, or passive-aggressive.
There are also times when I write tongue-in-cheek posts about annoying situations, but then find myself worrying that readers might mistake my attempts at light-hearted humour as genuine anger or bellyaching. Likewise, I sometimes fear that my writing or artwork may be misconstrued as being rude, offensive, annoying, or weird, especially when I receive radio silence on an email, comment, text, post, or friend/follow request. Such insecurities stem from past social blunders, in which I missed social cues, couldn't read between the lines, or said things with the absolute best of intentions, only to inadvertently put my foot in my mouth. I've come a long way since those embarrassing moments, but still find myself fretting over the possibility, real or imagined, of reliving them.
For anyone experiencing similar feelings of online self-doubt, I find it helpful to remind myself that such fears are simply my anxieties attempting to deceive and lead me astray. I also try the "glass is half full" approach, brainstorming plausible reasons for the radio silence that don't revolve around me, my disability, or the quality of my work (e.g., people are busy, the message ended up in the spam folder, etc.), again reminding myself that these neurotic worries are all in my head. I also do my best to move on after sending out an email, comment, text, post, or friend/follow request, rather than dwelling on how others may perceive it. Just focus on the next project in the pipeline and keep doing things that make you happy. Everything else should fall into place, naturally.
In closing, while I do sometimes worry about being misunderstood or shunned for my eccentricities, I have no such anxieties over my decision to share personal details about my autism with the world. While many in the Neocities community choose to remain as anonymous as the mysterious protagonist of Beatrice Sparks' 1971 teen novel, Go Ask Alice, which I totally understand and respect, I have no regrets over revealing my face and name on here, as I wish to demonstrate that autism is more than just a childhood "ailment" or Hollywood stereotype. I have such an awesome and supportive audience, so thank you all for following my autistic perspectives on life.
Do you have any thoughts on this post? If so, feel free to reach out by leaving a comment, dropping me a line, or signing my guestbook to share your opinions on this or any other topic. Also, feel free to press the "like" button if you enjoyed this post, as "likes" help me gauge audience interest in the content I post. After all, I don't want to bore anyone, ha-ha. Until next time, love, peace, and chicken grease!
Posted in "Autistic Perspectives" on Tuesday, November 12, 2024.